10 Ways to Open an Instant Messenger Conversation With a Friend (or Stranger)

10) And so I tell the TSA guy “Not without my monkey!”

9) Don’t stop the video, I just need to find another credit card.

8) كلّ في مبادرة.

7) What do you know about extradition law?

6) So, what are you wearing?

5) Hey, check it out, [Insert Recipient’s Name] has no idea their webcam is on!

4) My girl/boyfriend finally gave the thumbs up? What nights are you free?

3) They tested THREE times and its still positive… I’m so sorry.

2)  Do you still hear the lambs screaming?

1) I finally have it! Proof that the president… [Terminate chat connection and don’t answer email, phone calls, your door or go to work… who know, this may happen anyway if your ISP is AT&T]