My Vengeance Shall Be A Terrible Thing (Updated)

I decided to drive to work today so I could go see Serenity after work and also run a few midday errands. Shortly into my commute, though, my engine light came on and I started noticing a lot of engine vibration and knocking. In fact, I barely made it to work. Now, I’m very attached to my vehicle and pride myself in taking good care of it, so I called the dealership immediately and arranged to bring the car in at lunch time. After sitting in the waiting room while they did a cursory inspection, an exceedingly polite mechanic asked if I’d please come with him. What he explained to me and showed me is nothing less than a declaration of war.

As we walked, the mechanic asked me in broken English whether or not I parked outside a lot. I explained that I did. He nodded sagely and brought me around to my vehicle and as I stared beneath the hood my eyes narrowed.

Inside my engine compartment you could see numerous damaged hoses, wiring and fixturess. All of the bore the clear indications of gnawing. Also present were droppings and fur. I kid you not, the guys simply said, “Squirrels, I’ve seen this before.”

Unfrickin believable! This is not some elaborate joke. There is not clever punchline just a few paragraphs down. I am looking at several hundred dollars in parts and labor, not to mention days without my vehicle (which I do still use after hours and on the weekends).

A couple other mechanics and the service manager gathered around as well. They all were in a consensus that poison and traps were not unreasonable.

I swear, I will get those furry bastards. I will have their pelts drying in the sun as a warning to their kin before this is over. Arggghhhh!