Flyin’ Taters

(AP) German authorities are on the lookout for people packin’ a new form of sinister weaponry: vegetable munitions. Police in Essen arrested a man for firing potatoes at passersby with a homemade bazooka. “It was like a bazooka that fired potatoes,” said a police spokesman. “Jolly dangerous from close range.” The weapon consisted of about five feet of drainpipe attached to an aerosol can, which the man ignited to propel the root vegetables toward their targets. “He was plastered and probably thought it was fun,” the spokesman said. The 33-year-old man is now under investigation for attempting to cause bodily harm and violating gun laws.